The view on singles

For years, I head about the bad POV people have on singles once you enter the realm of 20-somethings. There’s the falsely cheerful, “you’re a strong independent woman who don’t need no man” and the blatantly negative “aww, it’s okay hunny, I’m sure you’ll find someone”. I was blissfully naive to how these kinds of comments make an actual single 20-something feel.

When you’re in high school, people will start coupling off, and sure you’ll feel bummed, but you get over it and move on to the million other issues you face as an awkward teenager. As a 20-something, it seems as if all other aspects of your life are coming together, except one you really cannot control on your own. When no one brings it up, you’re fine with the way your life is. But then someone, or something, brings up the fact that you’re single, and makes it seem as if being single is the worst thing that could possibly be happening to you right now.

Now as a single 20-something, who is very single, with many not so single friends, I take a serious offense to this. I look at the 99.9 % of my friends that are in relationships right now, and at least 99.9% of them seem like some of the unhappiest people on the planet. If I had the option to be in one of their relationships, I would turn it down cold turkey. I don’t know about you, but disfunction is so not my thing.

Then today I come across this article about 12 things about serious relationships that no one tells single people. I sincerely hope that this was some sort of title ploy that people who think they are in serious relationships will end up reading the article so they can finally realize how ridiculous their relationships are.

I went in to reading this article with an open mind, hoping to find some words of wisdom as to why on earth I am still single. At the very least, some new information for the single 20-something. Instead, I got 12 things I found absolutely ridiculous to be telling a single person.

Why? Because WE ALREADY KNOW THESE THINGS. These are the things we have watched our friends do wrong for years. We are the friend that gets ditched for the boyfriend. We’re the ones that have to remind our friends that, “hey, he’s only human, he’s going to talk about how hot Mila Kunis is” (because girl is smokin’). We’re the ones that enforce compromise, allow some bickering, and aren’t afraid to stand up when the relationship is more fighting and less of the good stuff.

Who really needs to  read this is all the people who think their relationship is perfect, then with the onset of a single fight believes the entire world is crumbling down and comes running back to all of the friends they have been ignoring for their significant other. We know all of this, we’ve lived all of this through a non-love-crazy eye.

But maybe this is exactly why we singles are not in these “serious” relationships. Maybe I have some crazy convoluted idea that I’m just waiting around for someone I think is worthy enough to go through all of this for. Maybe I’m waiting until I’m mature enough to handle serious. Maybe I know just how crazy me and my life are, and I’m not sure anyone I have met yet is ready to handle me yet.

Given the option between having one of the “serious” relationships I’ve seen, and living my life as a single, I would choose single any day of the week, and I’m proud of that.


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