Today I was talking to one of my housemates and she told me that last night she pulled a me. Immediately I thought she did something regretful, slutty, or downright embarrassing as is the usually Carrie way. But her story shocked me.
She was getting ripped on by one of our friends when her boyfriend came to visit – they all stayed on campus for the summer – and he was joking about how she had liked one of our other friends before her boyfriend. It had been a very messy situation and Katie is still a little sore about it to this day. Katie kept defending herself and finally her boyfriend just walked away. Katie followed after him and was ready to keep explaining herself, find every way she could to assure him that that was a dumb mistake. But then she thought, what would Carrie do?
She took a breath, swallowed all of the excuses she wanted to make, and pressed her boyfriend against a wall and told him “I am with you now, you are the only person I want to be with, so B can suck a dick because this is all that matters.”
Well hot diggity damn look who found some confidence! Katie has always been a rambler, soft spoken, doesn’t want to force anyone in anyway and now she was just flat out saying it how it is. And to think that confidence boost came from me? Its just so strange for me to hear because all of my life I have never been the confident one. I’ve always been the mute standing in the background nodding my head politely to the conversation around me. To be known as the confident one? The strong one? It makes me feel proud of myself. After all I had to overcome to know that what everyone sees is the person I have always hoped to be, its a pretty good feeling. There are so many things that I have always wanted to better about myself, but I think this is the solid foundation that I get to start building upon my rock bottom. Honestly the attitude that I have now is humble, but strong. I do not admire cockiness, I do not admire the obnoxious, I admire the confident and bold and from the things I have been hearing from all of the new friends that I have made, that is who I am.
For anyone who thinks you personality is set from birth, you’re wrong, you can change it, with a little remodeling of how you view the world.
“Your problem is not the problem, your problem is your attitude about the problem.” -Jack Sparrow